Florida Men (and Women) Gone Wild

[mcsluggo]

Florida’s Legislature Advances a Ludicrous ‘Chemtrails’ Bill

If you’re one of the 900 new people who move to Florida every day, you may not know this crucial secret of Florida government. I’m a Florida native, so let me clue you in. Lean in close and I’ll whisper it in your ear. Are you ready?

The Florida Legislature contains more cuckoos than a Swiss clock factory.

Now that you’re aware of this fact, how are you holding up? How’s your blood pressure? Can you handle the truth?

You want some evidence? Just last year, a legislator claimed his new anti-bear bill was necessary because there were bears on crack invading people’s houses. This was, of course, a complete fantasy. Yet his colleagues didn’t question his sanity or call the paramedics. They just passed the bill. It’s the law now!

This year there’s one that’s even kookier. I am referring to the so-called “chemtrails” bill.

In case you’re unfamiliar with that debunked conspiracy theory, the folks who believe in “chemtrails” are convinced the government (or maybe it’s the Illuminati) is dispatching planes to fly over us unsuspecting Americans and spray chemicals on us.

Why? The chemtrails can change the weather, say the diehards. Or maybe they can control people’s minds. Or maybe they’re just going to poison everybody they don’t like. Who knows? After all, it’s a secret, like the 1947 UFO crash landing in New Mexico.

Anyway, there’s a bill in the Legislature to track and attack chemtrails. Instead of being laughed out of the Capitol building, as it deserves, the bill was just passed by the full Senate, because that’s what our state’s elected leaders are like right now. I wish I could tell you the “Looney Tunes” theme song played while they voted.

“The measure (SB 56), sponsored by Miami Republican Ileana Garcia, would prohibit the injection, release, or dispersion of any means of a chemical, chemical compound, substance, or apparatus into the atmosphere for the purpose of affecting the climate,” my colleague Mitch Perry reported in the Phoenix last week. “Any person or corporation who conducts such geoengineering or weather modification activity would be subject to a third-degree felony charge, with fines up to $100,000.”

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Florida is in the midst of a drought. I guess no cloud seeding for rain.

Falls Church would welcome you back...

[China]

Fired New College official had history of indecent exposure charges

On a sunny afternoon in March, Fred Piccolo pulled his car over on a residential street in Manatee County, police say, blocking the path of a woman walking on the side of the road.

Piccolo, New College of Florida’s director of media and marketing, said that he’d just been caught by his girlfriend’s husband and needed help with directions, according to an arrest warrant filed in Manatee Circuit Court last week.

When she looked inside the car, the report said, the unnamed woman saw that Piccolo was completely naked and touching his genitals.

Piccolo was arrested last week and charged with indecent exposure in the wake of the incident. The school terminated his employment the next day, after receiving questions about the incident from the media, according to text messages reviewed by the Tampa Bay Times.

It wasn’t the first time Piccolo has faced such charges.

When New College of Florida hired him in December, he was facing three pending cases for “exposure of sexual organs.” Two years before that, he was sued for allegedly sending lewd messages to a state lawmaker. That suit was dropped but still covered in the press.

However, none of the cases showed up in a background check requested by the school, nor did Piccolo voluntarily disclose them, according to documents obtained by the Times.

In August, Piccolo entered a changing room at a Banana Republic inside Sarasota’s University Town Center Mall and removed his clothes before calling an employee over, according to a police report. The employee told the police that Piccolo was masturbating while looking at her. Two weeks later he twice retuned to a Dillard’s in the same shopping center and exposed himself to store employees, according to police.

State prosecutors filed three charges of indecent exposure in Sarasota County court in early October. Since the cases were misdemeanors, Piccolo was not arrested and instead received a criminal summons from the Sarasota Clerk of Courts.

Despite these charges, a January background check performed by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement at the request of New College indicated that “no relevant criminal records” existed for Piccolo.

Charges that don’t result in an arrest do not show up on a Florida Department of Law Enforcement background check, according to the agency’s website, which may explain why Piccolo’s prior cases went unrecorded. Cases in which an arresting agency doesn’t take fingerprints and submit them to the state won’t show up either, a Florida Department of Law Enforcement spokesperson said via email.

Piccolo was released from Manatee County jail last week. He was placed under house arrest and is required to wear a GPS ankle monitor. As a result of the recent arrest, at a hearing Thursday in Sarasota, he was required to post a $75,000 bond for his three other pending cases.

Each of the three Sarasota cases carries a penalty of up to one year in jail and a $1,000 fine. The Manatee case, being a second offense, is a third-degree felony and carries a maximum sentence of five years in prison and a $5,000 fine.

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[China]

Husband walks in on naked wife having sex with his son, 15, on sofa before teen legs it

A husband allegedly caught his nurse wife having sex with his 15-year-old son as the woman reportedly claimed the child victim looked like his dad when he was younger.

Alexis Von Yates, 35, is currently awaiting trial for the alleged statutory rape of a minor. The incident reportedly took place last July in Ocala, Florida, during the boy's summer visit to his father, as reported by Law & Crime. It's believed that the illicit encounter followed weeks of seduction from Yates, coming to a head one night on a couch.

On the evening of July 26, 2024, Yates tucked her two children into bed before spending time with her 15-year-old stepson on the living room couch.

They reportedly shared a THC vape, played video games and watched films while his father, a lineman, worked late, as per a Marion County arrest affidavit.



It's alleged that at around 1am Yates switched on the horror flick Terrorizer 2, then proceeded to make advances towards the minor. She complained about the film being dull and confessed to feeling "horny" because she hadn't had sex in two weeks and was menstruating, the victim informed the police.

The pair allegedly got cosier, with the 15-year-old first kissing Yates on the neck, before they started snogging, during which Yates reportedly said: "I wish you were 18, because you're not old enough," as per the affidavit.

Yates then reportedly ditched her knickers and the two engaged in oral sex and full-on intercourse without any protection, the affidavit details.

When the clueless father and husband came home from work he discovered his wife and son on the couch, completely naked. The teen ran out of the house, but supposedly overheard Yates telling his dad that the lad was the spitting image of him when he was younger, the affidavit alleges.

The distraught father then drove his son to the grandparents', accusing the boy of wrecking his life while knocking back beers on the journey, the affidavit states.

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[China]

Florida is poised to ban fluoride from public water systems

Florida is poised to ban fluoride in public drinking water, over the concerns of dentists and public health advocates who say the mineral is a safe, effective way to protect people of all ages from developing cavities.

Florida lawmakers gave final approval to the bill Tuesday. The measure now goes to the desk of Republican Gov. Ron DeSantis, whose administration has advocated against the fluoridation of community water systems, arguing high levels could pose a risk to children’s intellectual development.

Fluoride strengthens teeth by replacing minerals lost during normal wear and tear, according to the U.S. Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. The addition of low levels of fluoride to drinking water is considered among the greatest public health achievements of the last century.

“As dentists, we see the direct consequences fluoride removal has on our patients and it’s a real tragedy when policymakers’ decisions hurt vulnerable kids and adults in the long term,” Brett Kessler, president of the American Dental Association, said in a statement earlier this month. “Blindly calling for a ban on fluoridated water hurts people, costs money, and will ultimately harm our economy.”

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[China]

Married Couple Fingered For Lewd Conduct At Florida Bar

A married couple was arrested Sunday evening for allegedly engaging in lewd activity at a sidewalk café in Florida, according to court records.

Ryan Cook, 29, and Kimberley Morey, 27, were at the Where’s Jubes bar in downtown St. Petersburg when the disorderly conduct occurred, police say.

According to a witness, Cook placed his hand up his wife’s dress and touched her private parts, which reportedly “caused a disturbance” and a “breach of the peace.” Morey was charged for “allowing her husband to place his hand up her dress” and engage in sexual conduct.

Arrest affidavits do not identify the witness who fingered the frisky couple.

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[China]

Wild chickens take over Miami while some embrace roosters as a cultural symbol

Flamingos, pelicans, herons and parrots are just a few of the wild birds that call Miami home, but it’s the roosters, hens and baby chicks that have come to rule the roost in recent years.

Not only found in residential neighborhoods like Little Havana, Little Haiti and Wynwood, the fowl families are also making their home among the high-rises and government buildings downtown. And while some people find the crowing to be a nuisance, many have adopted the rooster as an unofficial mascot for the city.

Paul George, the resident historian at HistoryMiami Museum, said the chickens are closely connected to the people who have moved to Miami over the decades. For a long time, the domesticated birds were mostly kept in backyards, but George began to notice their feral cousins wandering in public areas about 20 years ago.

He said the chickens have a cultural connection to people who grew up in rural areas of Cuba and other parts of Latin America: “They’ve always had these hens and roosters around.”

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[China]

Florida fisherman frustrated with dolphins shot and poisoned them, feds say

A Panama City commercial fisherman shot bottlenose dolphins and fed them poisoned baitfish after federal prosecutors in Florida said he “grew frustrated” with the federally protected species eating snapper caught by his clients.

Now Zackery Brandon Barfield, 31, has been sentenced to 30 days in prison over killing the dolphins and poisoning them with a toxic pesticide in 2022 and 2023, according to a Friday news release from the U.S. Attorney’s Office for the Northern District of Florida. The judge also ordered him to pay a $51,000 fine.

In hurting the dolphins, Barfield, whose first name is spelled “Zachary” in court filings, also harmed the Gulf of Mexico’s waters by polluting the ecosystem with Methomyl, the pesticide he used to poison the marine mammals for months, prosecutors said.

Acting Assistant Attorney General Adam Gustafson, of the Justice Department’s Environment and Natural Resources Division, said in a statement that Barfield, a “longtime charter and commercial fishing captain,” knew “the regulations protecting dolphins, yet he killed them anyway — once in front of children.”

Barfield’s criminal defense attorney, Nathan Robert Prince, didn’t immediately return McClatchy News’ request for comment Friday.

Bottlenose dolphins are protected by the Marine Mammal Protection Act and the Federal Insecticide, Fungicide and Rodenticide Act.

Barfield violated both laws during charter fishing trips, according to prosecutors.

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[China]

Two of the World’s Worst Termites Hooked Up in Florida—and Now We’re Screwed

A termite horror story a decade in the making is unfolding in South Florida. Two of the most destructive invasive termites on the planet are not only coexisting—they’re mating. And now, scientists have confirmed that the populations are hybridized.

In a new study published this month in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, researchers from the University of Florida’s Institute of Food and Agricultural Sciences (UF/IFAS) report that the Formosan subterranean termite and the Asian subterranean termite are crossbreeding and producing viable offspring in South Florida neighborhoods. The result is a new hybrid termite population that could cause even more environmental and structural damage than its already-devastating parents.

“Unfortunately, termite colonies are very cryptic and trying to find hybrid colonies in the field is like looking for a needle in a haystack,” said Thomas Chouvenc, a researcher at the University of Florida and lead author of the study, in a university release. “We monitored termite activity closely for more than a decade to check for the establishment of hybrid colonies in some of the neighborhoods affected by the two termite species.”

Genetic testing confirmed that the strange-looking termites first spotted in 2021 were hybrids of the aforementioned species. “At first, I could not believe it, as I was hoping to never find it,” Chouvenc said.

In October 2024, the researchers discovered a full-blown hybrid colony in a Fort Lauderdale park, which had likely been active for more than five years before being detected. Chouvenc said that there are likely many more hundreds of colonies across South Florida that have not yet been found.

Both parent species are prolific breeders, capable of forming massive colonies and spreading rapidly. The fact that these hybrids are swarming—and potentially just as fertile—raises major red flags.

Fort Lauderdale’s status as a global boating hub may accelerate the spread. “This may be a Florida story now, but it likely won’t stay just in Florida,” Chouvenc warned. Private boats have previously been implicated in termite spread across the U.S. and internationally.

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